‘clouds’ polaroid photo shot with my sx70 camera and artistic TZ film stock
unphotographable ~ the responses that moved me to my very innermost being when I asked my grade seven students in the photography class I am teaching (open to exposure) “where do you feel most like yourself?’ which is their assignment to photograph this week ~ I cannot WAIT to see the photo’s they shoot
~ ‘actually the place I feel most like myself is a time of day ~ at night when it is dark and quiet and I can be alone with my thoughts peacefully’
~ ‘it’s more of a mood where i feel most like myself and it sounds a bit strange but I love to be down at the beach when it is raining and warm out and i am just wearing a tee~shirt and I look up into the sky while the rain splashes on my face ~ it feels so free somehow’
~i feel most like myself in the evening walking in my neighborhood when it is dark, but you have a soft glow from the streetlamps and I have my headphones on listening to music
~I feel most like myself at camp, it may sound funny but there is something about the moon at camp that is just so beautiful
~Oh, I feel most like myself on stage in drama class ~ you may think I am acting but actually that is the real me but no one knows that, and I feel like that is where I am most myself
~I feel most like myself in the art studio because the teacher let’s us choose freely what we want to paint and I just love being there
~ My Dad and I go canoing and it is so beautiful and peaceful but there is a specific moment I love and somehow think about often which is when I put my hand into the
water and we drift along ~ i feel most like me in that moment
~ In the mornings my Mom and I sit on the front deck and we can see the ocean. We always have tea together and it is just her and me and we watch the sun come up and one day it was really this perfect line of pink and that is when I most felt like myself
This week ~ was perfect in every way and I am so grateful for the honor of teaching these tremendous and artistic little souls ~ and somehow I can just tell already that is really me who is the student, and once again I am reminded that love is indeed all around.
It is most certainly a beautiful Sunday as I rise up this morning listening to Bob Marley records, puttering around my studio in a sleepy reverie. It is a morning of being here, (remembering there) decorating my studio and pondering where to get tiny boxes I can paint as little homes for my five word poems. (which I think will be my most humble christmas gift this year to friends) There is a sweet rabbit I am considering adopting (already i am certain she is an ‘eliza’) and loads of old family photo’s to scan in my new scanner. (the Epson Perfection V500 which is BRILLIANT!!!)
a poem…
the handspring
How me of me, I know, to blame it all
on that little hampered run, that running tiptoe
and the world swung up on your fingertips
as if it were nothing, or at least the weight of nothing.
~don paterson ~
(poems are little epiphanies , of this I am certain)
p.s. i am behind in my e~mails but for those who are asking about the color of my living room and studio I matched cloverdale paints (because i have a contact there and they are much cheaper) to benjamin moore colors ~ “firefly’ for the living room and “happily ever afer’ for the studio)
i picked you, as an apple is picked by the little peasants for their girls
~ee cummings ~
Today was extraordinary for one bright daylight hour as I lived with the earth. The autumn sun struck through branches, patches of clamoring moss , rosy crabapples. Which I swear, I was so pleased with, you would think I grew them myself as I gathered them up, beaming, in a basket. To make crab apple jelly I am thinking now. I set up my little portable record player and spun around to Jelly Roll Morton which is how I claimed the idea of crab apple jelly in the first place.
A poem. This garden hour was a poem. And I am completely, madly, deeply in love with yellow. Stay tuned:) Tomorrow I will return to a home I have loved….pick up a computer….a box of books and say farewell to the lilac tree.
I am so excited as Mindy, the editor of Wishstudio invited me to ‘pen’ an article for her Wishmama column ~ as well I will be writing a monthly column for her beautiful studio entitled ‘The Art of Living Cheerfully’ ~ pop by and visit us here:)
‘I imagine that yes is the only living thing.’~ ee cummings ~
Today I said yes! to singing along to my vinyl records, pumpkin spice cookies, a walk on the beach collecting sea glass and heart shaped stones, reading on the front porch barefoot in the sunshine, fresh new journals for tumbling thoughts inked out in jewel toned markers, exploring the limitless expanse of the human heart, and philosophical chattiness with my girlfriend on the phone…I said yes! to this extraordinary life that is mine and mine alone, and the intimate journey of being true to myself…I said yes! to a boiled egg in a vintage eggcup with buttered toast and tea, and I said yes! to my brand new ‘Bones of poet e~course’ which you can read all about here:)
“Akeru’ (Japanese) ~ meaning to end, begin, to expire, to start, to unwrap, to pierce… to turn over.
Akeru. How beautiful ‘akeru’s’ gust and so true to my life this year. And ‘yes’. Oh that word ‘yes’ that sounds steadfastly simple and stands so valiant with those three little letters. It certainly isn’t as easy as it sounds however as someone once observed~ ‘Madelyn with her big ‘yes’ and hundreds of quiet little ‘no’s’ whispering away in the background.’ There are times when I have been so afraid to say ‘yes’ and that is where my writing, my photography have been my greatest lover. It is through my writing and my images that I have shouted ‘yes’ allowing my intentions, my yearnings, my dreams to guide me ever forward. Here lies the magic of self expression, whether it be in writing, in art, in music…in daydreaming. It is so present, so potent…so seeded. When I think back to when I began writing on my blog three years ago I had no idea of the l i f e of self expression. I could not even begin to imagine that it would take me on a trip to India with my son, to having my writing published, my photo’s represented by Getty images. I did not know it would encourage me one word at a time (before I was even ready to take the actual steps in my real life) to map out my dreams for how I wanted my life to look. And I certainly did not know that life could be difficult, messy, painful at times even when allowing my small dreams a stage to say ‘yes’ on. And yet. Art in all it’s forms of self expression is constant…it is movement…and is, in itself, a living thing ~ and therein lies the possibility.
So ~ here in this beautiful new home for Madelyn’s Persisting Stars ~ I pierce…unwrap…begin….and say ‘yes!’ Yes to beautiful new adventures…to wide open windows…to kissing. Because every story should begin with kissing:)
I have so much to say…so much to share as I have two beautiful projects I want to tell you about. But for today I thought I would take a moment to say a huge thank you!!!! to Kerstin who designed this entire website in just a few days ….working countless hours bringing it to life all the while dealing with my thousands of daily e~mails ‘just wondering…if ‘this’ could be done or ‘that’ added…’ She was always enthusiastic, patient and generous with me and I am more grateful than she will ever know. That she worked long midnight hours on persisting stars even in the face of a move in her own life is such an indication of the heart in that dear girl:)
It is my very first post in my brand new space and I wished to celebrate with a giveaway. Now, I have turned off my comments on this website for many reasons. I want visitors to come here and enjoy my little world that I share without feeling they have to comment. I am simply honored that people show up and that in itself makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. As well….I want to be true to myself in every way without wondering how people are reacting to my thoughts ~ freeing myself up to be even more honest in my self explorations. That said, I love e~mails and would love to hear from you anytime you care to write me ~ And on that note! If you would like to win 2 photo’s of your choice from my etsy shop please send me a little e~mail in the next week (at persistingstars2@yahoo.ca) ~ the ‘draw’ will be on Sunday. ( which is my favorite day of the week in case you didn’t know.)
